Stories from 'A Country Agent'

Rupert Devonshire is “A Country Agent”.  A married father of two in his mid-fifties, Rupert has worked in the rural property market, selling some of England’s finest country properties, for the past 30 years.   Writing as “A Country Agent”, Rupert shares with us some of the amusing highs, and indeed  lows, of his career to date.  Whether he is  being  attacked by a swan, propositioned by a cougar or watching an ostrich chase a surveyor, there is usually a hysterical undertone.  If you have  read any of his tales , you will appreciate that Rupert Devonshire is probably not his name... To follow, watch, read or like please click below for access to all my social media channels: 👉 A Country Agent 👈 Or scan the QR code:

I always turn up a minimum of 15 minutes early to an appointment without fail, except for the odd natural disaster of course.    There are many reasons for this, mainly because I was always taught that to be “ on time was to be five minutes late ”. I have a particular aversion to being on the back foot.   You see, when you are about to walk into someone’s home and give them advice that they a may or may not like regarding their largest tax free asset you need to be in control of the conversation and confident in your evidence. I feel that being late is not only highly unprofessional but it prevents you from completing all of your preparations; it costs nothing to be on time and be polite and this is something that few of my competitors seemed to care about and in my opinion this give me a slight edge, or so I hope! Prior to an appointment I like to do a small amount of research on the property, the local area and comparable sales prices.   Turning up to the prope...

I was fresh out of University and whilst I have no doubt that nerves were there I do remember that I was as keen as mustard to get stuck into the first day into my first “proper” job.   I had previously worked as an agent in my spare time whilst I was studying, that was an exciting, forward-thinking agency in a fast-paced city environment, but only occasionally.   This was destined to be something different, how right I would be proven to be! I had studied hard and had proudly obtained a property related degree that meant that I could one day be a qualified member of the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors if I carried on working hard for a reputable firm. Pomp & Bluster Ltd was based in The Estate Office, a barn conversion which was a part of the Senior Partner’s larger property which included some 80 acres and his large Manor House he referred to as “The Pit”.   Located in the most beautiful country setting and surrounded by endlessly pretty villages with l...

I will do anything for business but I won’t do that... I had been looking forward to this appraisal.  I knew the house; I had driven past it on many occasions and always admired it.  It was a rare thing – an elegant mock Georgian property sitting in about one acre along a popular and private, tree lined residential road; to be asked to value anything on this road was good news, the potential was there to bag an absolute corker of a listing. Simply put, I would do anything to win an instruction on this road.  Anything.  It’s a sign you’ve arrived as an agent. I pulled up on the drive, it was immaculately presented on the outside, huge kerb appeal.  I had to have this instruction. I walked up to the front door, pillars and perfectly manicured shrubs.  Nice touch.  Pulled – perfectly polished – the brass door ringer; another nice touch. After a few moments the door opened, “Christ” I thought, in her late 40’s and wearing some shorts.  Short shorts....

Methinks The Lady Doth Protest Too Much... It was one of the biggest properties we were likely to sell that year and we all wanted to be the one to claim that it was they who secured the deal. Home Farm was located in the county's most sought after village, an elegant Georgian Farmhouse which had been extended over the years to become a very impressive Grade II listed 12,000 square foot home with a prestigious address. The present owners had gone to great lengths to create a fabulous and enviable family home but sadly, as is often the way in such matters, the vendors’ marriage had hit the rocks. I had been flirting with the applicants, Mr & Mrs Chumley-Pilchard for some months, they were keen to buy but hadn't been able to find anything for a considerable time. I was desperate to sell them something and finally I was able to persuade them that Home Farm was worth a look.   She was apparently quite well known for having done something many years ago, tha...